Where is the Parent?

When we are a child, we live a like a child. Moving from one thing to another experimenting with life. If something feels good we keep doing it. If something hurts we stay away from it. Pain and pleasure act like the internal guidance system that help us decide, as children.

By the time we are adults, we have tried and tested enough that we can claim ourselves to be someone who likes x, y and z and someone who dislikes a, b and c. From here on, we often live life based on this template. All of this is well and good until, we start feeling 'stuck'. Its as if the template we decided to operate from isn't helping us move forward and keeping us tied to the past.

This is when we tend to seek therapy/ healing/ self-help. How does one heal though? Is it by letting go or is it by embracing new beliefs or a combination of both?

When it comes to healing, a lot gets talked about the 'inner child' and healing the inner child, which is necessary and important to live a conscious life. While the obvious fact is that all of have been through life situations that left a mark, we do need to revisit those scares, in a safe and supported manner. Revisiting the scares and healing the inner child are done, so one can accept, learn and let go of the wound, enabling one to see life through new lenses.

However, this healing of inner child is impossible without appropriate parenting. So where and who is the parent, you will ask me. And I will say to you surprise, surprise, the parent is also within, as is the child. The inner parent's role is to hold space for the child while it heals and bounces back. Finding the inner parent is more challenging than embracing the inner child, as it demands maturity.

If the inner child is the subconscious aspect of our selves, the inner parent is the super conscious aspect of us. Finding this super conscious aspect takes us on a spiritual quest, often felt by people when experiencing 'rock bottom'. Its like we intuitively know that to dispel the dark we need to bring in some light.

What has your journey been like through the darkness and light? Have you experienced 'rock bottom' and how did you bounce back? Reflect on it and share your thoughts with others. Someone may need to hear your story...

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